Thursday, December 09, 2004
Fun and Games without the Fun and Games
This may seem like raving lunacy but let me tell you this is completely typical.
I had our second "Story Time" at my institution today. What happens is, I read a short story for about 15 minutes of a 45-minute afternoon lesson. The folks in the room feign listening attentively and then sit silently as I ask them what they heard. It is rote, almost as the sun coming up in the morning.
Today's story time was the second of our series, attended by seven well-meaning students, almost all housewives. And me. The story was "How Six Made Their Way in the World" by Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm (which happens to be in the public domain so don't bother me about copyright details).
The first question I fielded was "Six what?" I knew it was all downhill from there.
In case you didn't know, Japanese has different words for different kinds of numbers. One, two, three are themselves. But once you get into one or two of different things like people, countries, drinks, sushi, who knows what the individual word for that individual thing might be.
I've been here three years and four months next week and I've given up even acting like I care about that stuff.
Anyway. So... "Six what?" right? I answered, "Six people." And right then I should have known this would go VOOOOOOOMMMMM!!! right over most of their heads.
Last week's Grimm tale was "The Frog King" an easy to understand little story with, maybe three characters. Six was just way too many for them to keep up with... in this case, with such similar names as:
You would think that it wouldn't be so difficult, having to actually use any effort to remember names. But after I read the story and asked the seven of them how many total characters were in the story, I got these answers: "Eight," "Nine," "Ten," and "Four."
Yes, "Four." Even when the title clearly said "Six." Ahem. "Fun and Games without" same, indeed.
It pains me no end when this kind of stuff happens. I mean, why bother if you're just going to quit trying when it gets "too hard" for you? Which brings me to my other similarly insane story from today.
One of our students, a really nice lady who works in the area, decided that because she hadn't "levelled-up" (improved her English according to her ability to pass what can only passingly, snortingly, subjectively be termed a "Communications Ability Test"), she was going to quit coming because she had "lost her confidence."
This can mean anything. It can mean that she's frustrated and wants to change things. It can also mean that she wants to try to leverage something out of the school's staff (like more free lessons or some equally worthless stuff). It can simply mean that she really doesn't feel confident with what she can do.
She's a level 5 at our place, placing her in the middle of the English ability at which we (the company) expect our students to perform. She started at a lower level two or three years ago. On average, most student progress one level a year. This is normal. She's been in the same level for 18 months. What's the problem, you say?
Pride. You feel that pricking in the back of your neck? That's what it is: pride... "messing" witcha.
In this case, losing confidence is a metphor for needing someone to show her that she's wanted, needed at the place where she doles out so much of her hard-earned cash. (And it IS hard-earned, let me tell you.) In other words, some fancy bum-lick.
I don't mind that. It's part of the job and part of sales, to lie on a daily, professional basis. Like a professional foul in soccer, you might say. But to tell someone that they are competent and worthy when two weeks ago, they were chatting and going about their normal English like there were no problems... that's puzzling. Which is exactly what she was and is doing.
Here's where this losing confidence thing breaks down. It's a convenient excuse when people decide to get lazy and... well, who knows what they really think. Then they call and tell you and expect you to try to get them out of the blues or whatever. THAT isn't my job. I am not an analyst when I'm not in the lesson rooms. You book a lesson, you come in, well, good sir or ma'am, Dr. Ken is here and waiting with his notepad and buffered analgesics. And maybe a prescription for something considerably stronger.
My best advice here is for the lady to come in and run out of points and not worry about it anymore -- if she's really serious about losing her confidence. If she's just doing it, realize that yanking people's chains who really couldn't give more of a toss if she learned "English" or not... really don't give a toss if she learns "English" or not. Get over it and come back and let's get back to normal.
That put me in mind of something else. Is what we teach -- sorry, "instruct" -- really English? And why are we "instructors" and not "teachers?"
More on that another time.
Not enough time to tell about my karaoke story from tonight or the guy making a puddle of sick in the Korien Station men's room, also tonight.
Oh well; there's always next time.
T-minus 5 days, 12 hours and 25 minutes until my plane leaves for my vacation.
Adios, my friends. And good hunting.
-K.
I had our second "Story Time" at my institution today. What happens is, I read a short story for about 15 minutes of a 45-minute afternoon lesson. The folks in the room feign listening attentively and then sit silently as I ask them what they heard. It is rote, almost as the sun coming up in the morning.
Today's story time was the second of our series, attended by seven well-meaning students, almost all housewives. And me. The story was "How Six Made Their Way in the World" by Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm (which happens to be in the public domain so don't bother me about copyright details).
The first question I fielded was "Six what?" I knew it was all downhill from there.
In case you didn't know, Japanese has different words for different kinds of numbers. One, two, three are themselves. But once you get into one or two of different things like people, countries, drinks, sushi, who knows what the individual word for that individual thing might be.
I've been here three years and four months next week and I've given up even acting like I care about that stuff.
Anyway. So... "Six what?" right? I answered, "Six people." And right then I should have known this would go VOOOOOOOMMMMM!!! right over most of their heads.
Last week's Grimm tale was "The Frog King" an easy to understand little story with, maybe three characters. Six was just way too many for them to keep up with... in this case, with such similar names as:
- The Master;
- The Huntsman;
- The Runner;
- The Blower;
- The Woodsman;
- The guy with the ear that froze everything in sight;
- The King;
- The Princess;
- The Cook;
- The Sergeant;
You would think that it wouldn't be so difficult, having to actually use any effort to remember names. But after I read the story and asked the seven of them how many total characters were in the story, I got these answers: "Eight," "Nine," "Ten," and "Four."
Yes, "Four." Even when the title clearly said "Six." Ahem. "Fun and Games without" same, indeed.
It pains me no end when this kind of stuff happens. I mean, why bother if you're just going to quit trying when it gets "too hard" for you? Which brings me to my other similarly insane story from today.
One of our students, a really nice lady who works in the area, decided that because she hadn't "levelled-up" (improved her English according to her ability to pass what can only passingly, snortingly, subjectively be termed a "Communications Ability Test"), she was going to quit coming because she had "lost her confidence."
This can mean anything. It can mean that she's frustrated and wants to change things. It can also mean that she wants to try to leverage something out of the school's staff (like more free lessons or some equally worthless stuff). It can simply mean that she really doesn't feel confident with what she can do.
She's a level 5 at our place, placing her in the middle of the English ability at which we (the company) expect our students to perform. She started at a lower level two or three years ago. On average, most student progress one level a year. This is normal. She's been in the same level for 18 months. What's the problem, you say?
Pride. You feel that pricking in the back of your neck? That's what it is: pride... "messing" witcha.
In this case, losing confidence is a metphor for needing someone to show her that she's wanted, needed at the place where she doles out so much of her hard-earned cash. (And it IS hard-earned, let me tell you.) In other words, some fancy bum-lick.
I don't mind that. It's part of the job and part of sales, to lie on a daily, professional basis. Like a professional foul in soccer, you might say. But to tell someone that they are competent and worthy when two weeks ago, they were chatting and going about their normal English like there were no problems... that's puzzling. Which is exactly what she was and is doing.
Here's where this losing confidence thing breaks down. It's a convenient excuse when people decide to get lazy and... well, who knows what they really think. Then they call and tell you and expect you to try to get them out of the blues or whatever. THAT isn't my job. I am not an analyst when I'm not in the lesson rooms. You book a lesson, you come in, well, good sir or ma'am, Dr. Ken is here and waiting with his notepad and buffered analgesics. And maybe a prescription for something considerably stronger.
My best advice here is for the lady to come in and run out of points and not worry about it anymore -- if she's really serious about losing her confidence. If she's just doing it, realize that yanking people's chains who really couldn't give more of a toss if she learned "English" or not... really don't give a toss if she learns "English" or not. Get over it and come back and let's get back to normal.
That put me in mind of something else. Is what we teach -- sorry, "instruct" -- really English? And why are we "instructors" and not "teachers?"
More on that another time.
Not enough time to tell about my karaoke story from tonight or the guy making a puddle of sick in the Korien Station men's room, also tonight.
Oh well; there's always next time.
T-minus 5 days, 12 hours and 25 minutes until my plane leaves for my vacation.
Adios, my friends. And good hunting.
-K.
Sunday, December 05, 2004
The Beginning is the End is the Beginning
The Beginning is the End is the Beginning.
Naturally, this is true. Naturally, I must begin this way.
I had intended to get this started a month ago, on November 1. As so often happens with things in my sphere, there were delays. Now, 35 days later, here I am, better late than never. Remember this day. I will, even though it's eight minutes from being over.
Please allow me to introduce myself for I am a man of wealth and taste. Or so some wise scribe once said of himself.
I live in the decidedly un-rural city of Osaka in Japan. I hit the double-witching age of 33 in August. I've visited 26 countries thus far and I'm always looking for more. My favorite is China.
My "statement of principles," as it were:
- I intend to be as honest, frank and truthful as I possibly can be.
- In the past, I tried to keep a diary before and failed miserably. To my English teachers in high school and professors in college: sorry about my lazy attitude then. Please forgive me. Maybe I can make my amends now.
- I will name names when it suits me. Please understand I'm not trying to embarrass you but if you do something that entertains or offends me, you may find yourself here. Be angry if you want but in all likelihood, you did it to yourself and I'm just writing it down.
- Should I get feedback, I will make every effort to respond. Insensible flames will not be responded to. Intelligent criticism will.
- I want to enjoy doing this and I want you to enjoy reading it.
Please: enjoy!
