The All-Worlds Fair

I really don't like to bang my head against a wall. I know, I know: we all do it from time to time. There's a bit of comedy to it that makes people watching laugh and point at the fool who's messing up his cranium or dulling his wits. There is that. Maybe there's the other kind.

So last night I was talking to my class, a class which at this time certainly has no name, and the idea was to practice their English while having a bit of pizza, sushi, fried dumplings, sesame tofu and cake. Now, writing that, I think I threw up a little in my mouth because it doesn't sound like it would go together. At the time, I managed to make it through all of the above except the sushi: "All Japanese people like to eat sushi with pizza." Naturally, I wouldn't make such a fool statement.

I countered with, certainly not ALL Japanese people... You know. To which I got the paraphrased response: "Yeah, well, maybe 99.9% of us."

Probably, I should have let it slide. But since we started the lesson more than an hour late and they were speaking Japanese when they were supposed to be speaking English and then they were not accurately translating anything they said into English, I kind of got angry and did not pick my battle so well.

We talked about personal taste and general taste. How maybe one or two of them like sushi with pizza but not everybody in any group would. (And at the insane cost of it in Japan, why bother? A 12 piece sushi box -- varied -- cost 680 yen times six people plus three large Domino's pizzas, probably about 2500 yen each, we're talking north of 10,000 yen here, or more than US$100.) Plus you throw in the tofu (homemade), cream puffs (six @ probably 300 yen each), and cake (six @ 400 yen each) and you're talking big bucks.

Here's the thing: it doesn't go together. The tastes are so disparate... It's like licking a garbage can.

Pizza 1: tomato sauce, pepperoni, red and green peppers, onions.
Pizza 2: cheese, squid, shrimp, broccoli, some kind of cream sauce, scallops.
Pizza 3: teriyaki chicken, vegetables, cheese.

Fried dumplings: ground garlic, ground vegetables, chicken and/or pork maybe, wrapping in thin rice paper.

Tofu: tofu (soybeans), sesame.

Cream puffs: whipped cream (with added sugar) and pastry.

Cake: cake and various toppings like strawberries and blueberries. Oh and crust. But it most definitely wasn't a pie.

Sushi: shrimp, salmon, salmon roe, squid, and others whose names I don't know.

Now, I ask you, in any order does that sound good?